I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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