ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
