I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
