It's like God shit irony all over that family
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
