Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
