I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
