My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
