its not stalking. its research.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
