The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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