i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize