yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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