she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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