standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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