Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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