She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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