:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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