He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
