I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
