Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
