I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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