Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
