the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
vagina is talking i cant
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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