I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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