I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
