wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
