that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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