Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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