we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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