U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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