ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
