Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize