I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize