I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
