**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize