okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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