so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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