New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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