Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
