I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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