We need to rekindle our bromance
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
