Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
