How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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