I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
