oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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