I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize