This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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