cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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