Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
