just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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