you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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