saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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