you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
