People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
