Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
