Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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