we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
