After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
