Sry I called you an 8
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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