Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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