I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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