i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
