I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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