Umm I'm too high to move.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
